Moving On...

Well, I am moving on, sorry Blogger. You were fun for a few laughs, but I just can't get into you. It isn't you it is me. I found someone else. Wordpress. check it out www.adventureinrandomness.wordpress.com

Life update...

I had a friend recently point out that it has been a while since I have posted anything on this site. To be honest I have been struggling with what to write and whether or not I was ever going to write anything again.

There have been so many changes over the last 8 months that to try and write about any of it has seemed impossible. I can say though that while this time was never in our original plans for our life it has been a journey that has revealed a lot about who Julie thought we were and about God.

At some point I will share all that God has been working on with me, but I feel I need to process more before I can fully explain what God is doing.

With that said I think it is beneficial to share what is going on and what the next steps are in both mine and Julie's life.

I am still currently working at T-Mobile as a sales associate. It has been interesting being part of the retail world (see previous post about some of my frustration), mostly it has been a good experience. I am learning a lot about how to deal with people in a way that shows compassion and truth. Also, something that I thought I always did a good job of was in how I relate to people and in my ability to teach. However, I have found that my sarcasm and selfishness has kept me from showing compassion towards others. There have been more than one instance of putting foot-in-mouth. I think the biggest frustration right now is that I find myself feeling like I have to defend T-Mobile as a company. I have friends, family, and customers who tell me about their frustrations with T-Mobile and I find that I get defensive. While I don't think T-Mobile is the best company in the world, I do have some sense of loyalty and I can take it personally when someone attacks the company. I try and justify and convince them and probably myself that the company is good. Again I think there is some growth in this area for me especially in not taking it personally. The reality is that I don't care that much about what others think about T-Mobile, but it is hard to not take it personally while working for them.

Julie has been very busy with her many jobs; Compass, Hubbell Communications, NW Church Planting, and several other clients. I am so impressed with how she is able to keep it all straight. I think for Julie the transition has been a chance for her to really grow as a leader and develop her own passions separate from my career. I see God moving in her life it is exciting to see how God is challenging and developing her. The challenge for us has been the fact that it is hard for us to develop a consistent schedule for us. With a job in retail I am having a difficult time in gaining any consistency and while Julie is able to work pretty much Monday-Friday 9 to 5, I am all over the place. Makes it hard to spend time together. We have friends that are in much more stressful arrangement, and I am very thankful for the job I have, never the less it is still difficult.

Another change that is going to be happening is that I will be going back to school starting in January. I am going back to Multnomah University, actually to the Seminary, to get my Masters in Biblical Studies. I am extremely excited about this and thankful that I have the opportunty. I have been asked a few times why go back to school and I think for me a big part of it has just been to get to know God on a deeper level. I know I don't need to go to school to do this but I know that being in school setting will help to challenge and push me through the process. This came out of a desire to grow in my understanding of the Bible and God. A lot of what God has been revealing to me over the last few years and especially the last 8 months has been signifcant and I feel like I want to continue to develop the ideas of this process but want to do it within the context of the God's word and while I feel pretty competent in my understanding of the Bible I think I could grow further. Being in this transitional period gives me the opportunity to really grow in this area.

Finally, a question that has come up has been what is next? What is the plan after school is done, etc...? Well, I don't know. I do know that I feel like God has called me to be in relationship with Him and to continue to help the church in what it means to be a church and how to help others experience a life with Him. I don't know what that looks like, if it means working in a church again or if it means supporting the local church while I continue to do other careers I just know that God is far from done with me.

So there you go, you are pretty much caught up with what is going on in our world. Stay tuned for future updates. I have some ideas about future topics, such as life with housemates, secular career vs full-time ministry, and a few other ideas.

Retail Rant

Ok, this is just an observation so take it for what it is worth. I believe that we have gotten to point of tremendous selfishness in our world. I know it probably isn't a shock to most of you but for me it has been pretty amazing. Over the last 3 months of working retail I have come to the conclusion that we live in a world that is incredible spoiled and self centered.

I love technology and especially cell phones, so it is fitting that I work for T-Mobile (just for the record I'm not in-love with working retail, just love the tech). I remember being a customer of T-Mobile and going into the store to check out the latest and greatest phones. I would find myself wishing that I would have held out for the upgrade because I was now stuck with a piece of junk phone and there before me was a new shinny amazing phone that has caught my eye and I can't live without. I would go to the sales associate and ask them how much it would cost me to get this one of a kind must have new phone, only to hear the dreaded words, "unfortunately you are not eligible for a full upgrade so it is going to be full price"

"Full Price!" I would reply, "I have been a T-Mobile customer for 6 years, I have always paid my bills on time, I am a loyal customer and deserve a discount on this phone." Oh how those words are now haunting my existence.

Every day I hear these words, every day I am faced with a customer who was just like me. I sometimes wonder how much of a sense of humor God has, however after working retail for the last 90 days I wonder no more.

Seriously though, I have been thinking about how we have gotten to the point where we feel entitled, that somehow because we are gracious enough to pay a company money each month to use their services that we now deserve something, in fact we demand it. I have been yelled at, cursed, called all sorts of names, and accused of trying to rip people off. Serious it amazes me, I work so hard to try and look at each person who comes into the store as someone who I can help. I try my very best to treat each person with respect. I know that I am not perfect, some days I just want to get out of there but it doesn't change the fact that I keep dealing with the same people everyday and I have to be honest it sucks.

I go to work every day because I need to put food on our table. To provide enough money for Julie and I to keep our house and hopefully give us an opportunity to spend time together while we figure out where God is going to lead us next. I feel so fortunate to have a job right now, to be somewhere that I like to people that I work with, and working for a company I think is trying to do a good job of caring for customers and employees(yes, they are trying to make money too). However, it has made me realize how much I have been that angry customer, or the entitled customer. How there are times when I feel like I deserve something more and I look at the person who is serving me and do not give them any respect. Why should I right?

Now I want to clarify, I am not supporting all of the company policies when it comes to prices, upgrades, etc... however, I have come to realize that just because we don't like something doesn't give us the right to treat people the way that we do. What is funny to me is the fact that as I have been working in the cell phone world I have come to appreciate the fact that it costs money to do business, that technology has come a long ways (side note: I realized the other day that my current phone has more power, more storage, and can do more things than the computer I had in college, which wasn't that long ago) and while I don't want to have to shell out hundreds of dollars on a phone I feel less like I am getting ripped off and more of, I get what I paid for. Even if I was justified in my thinking, even if I know that I was right and the company was wrong, does it give me a right to demand satisfaction, does it give me the right to get what I deserve, and most importantly does it give me the right to treat the people who work for that company like crap because they work for a dumb company.

I believe that we do have the right to stand up for what we believe especially when there is injustice going on, I just wonder if we know what true injustice is. We believe that if something infringes on our lifestyle or keeps us from getting what we want is injustice. We are willing to make someone feel like they are worthless and pass judgment on others because of our injustice. How different would it be if we stepped back and realized that we have been given more then we ever deserve? How different would it be if instead of waking up each day thinking about what we are going to get we woke up thinking about what we were going to get to be a apart of, that God was going to give us opportunities to care for people, to share in His amazing plan of redemption in the world?

I will keep going to work because I feel like this is where God has placed me right now and I will keep trying to do my best to care for customers and to follow the company polices, but I will have a new understanding for my fellow service people and will continue to look long and hard at what it is I deserve.

More to come on this subject later...

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looks like I can post to my blog from my phone yeah

It has been too long friend...

I have found it increasingly difficult to write lately. Not that I have ever been a good writer or that I am even trying to be. But just the thought of sitting down and writing out my thoughts on anything in particular has been difficult and I'm not really sure why.

There are a lot of things that are going on in my life, with a new job, family stuff, summer plans, my amazing wife, disc golf, and countless other things that all present different thoughts and life observations, however I just haven't felt like I can share them with anyone outside of my wife and counselor. Sounds funny I know but that is where things are at. That my change as I realize how helpful it is for me to take those thoughts and to try and write them in some sort of conscious concise thought.

So for now know that I have not forgotten this small but meaningful piece of my life and process. Hopefully soon I will have more to say.

Life Process: How the cynics keep from seeing God

I won't make this post long but rather a thought. I wonder how much we allow our cynicism get in the way of caring for people. I find myself recognizing how my sarcasm and cynicism impacts my ability to see beyond myself and recognize how amazing people are. I stop looking at the beauty of God's creation and start looking for reasons to slam it. I say this not because I suck or for any other reason then I really am desiring to strip away the things that can hinder my relationship with God, and I have been really sensitive as of late both for myself and when I see others who care more about a laugh or feeling good then caring for people.

Over the last month I have had a lot of time to reflect on my experience working in the church and why we even do church. Without going into tons of detail I have come away with just a huge appreciation for God and for His love of us. I find myself wanting to be in relationship with people more and to share what God has been doing in my life. My hope is that I will continue to strip away the things that have been causing me to miss people and truly be in the moment.

Life Update: New Job(s)

I have been searching over the last month trying to find something for me to do that would bring home some money. It is weird to reach a stage in life where just finding a job isn't enough anymore.

What I mean is, I have reached a point in life where in order for Julie and I to keep our house or to maintain a lifestyle (which by no means is lavish) we have to earn x amount of dollars every month. What stinks about that is it is easy for us to look at the "how much does it pay?" rather than "is this a good fit or opportunity?" when it comes to finding that job. Julie and I have always wanted to not let finances keep us from following what God desires from us. We want to do things that have a kingdom impact, could God use us if we were working jobs that brought in a lot of money? Oh yeah. Have we had those kind of opportunities? Not so much. But, that is what has been so amazing over the last 10+ years of our life, as we have pursued various opportunities we have seen our incomes go up and down over the years and yet we have been able to live a lifestyle that I would say is comfortable. God has provided, you might say that a statement like that is cheesy or naive but I really believe that God has always given us enough.

Now we get to this transition where I wasn't expecting to be looking for work at a time when the job market is really down. I have found myself wondering what are we going to do. Getting a job that pays minimum wage, while it is a job and is money, isn't enough to provide for us, to pay the bills and mortgage. While I wasn't getting rich doing full-time ministry I was defiantly taken care of and that income isn't easily replaced. The second problem is I'm not sure what "next" looks like for me. I still feel a strong desire to serve in the local church whether it is in a more tradition "pastor" role or maybe some kind of partnership, I feel like I'm not done with that. However, I don't feel like we are suppose to move. Julie and I moved to the west side of Vancouver just over a year ago and have felt so at peace being here. We have a beautiful home that has allowed us to care for people beyond what we had invisioned. Yet, when you look at the realities of our finances and the idea of going back into a church position the likely hood that we will be able to stay in this house and in Vancouver is pretty slim. Right now we just don't see us uprooting again. So where does that leave us?

Both Julie and I have felt like we are moving into a season of life, possible an extended season, of rest, prayer, relationship, and planning. Our hope is that I can find a job that allows me to maintain relationships and continue to dialogue with people about opportunities and ideas about what the next thing is for us. In the meantime we need to pay the bills. The later part of the plan is starting to come together as I have been hired by (I know I gave it away at the top) T-Mobile to basically sell phones out of one of their stores (Fisher's Landing Store). I know it is pretty glamorous but hey it pays some bills and I have to admit I really love technology so it might be kind of fun. Especially since I will get to continue to hang out with people. The job itself is part-time however they pay full benefits (which is huge) and it still allows for some of the flexibility that Julie was hoping I would have so that I can continue to figure out what is truly the "next" thing for us. As my nephew said, "I won't buy Jesus from you, but I will buy a cell phone." (just to clarify he was joking, and already has "bought" Jesus).

There is a possible other opportunity that is in the works with helping out a guy who is starting his own construction company. I have been able to work for him a couple of days as a laborer doing a variety of things as we are working on a remodel. This is interesting for a variety of reasons. My dad is a carpenter, my brother-in-law is a carpenter, my nephew is a carpenter so it is kind of like I have gone into the "family" business. When I was younger I use to help my dad on the various side jobs he would take helping friends remodel their houses, building things for the church, etc... I realize however that I didn't pay attention, carpentry does not come naturally to me. I don't know much, however my boss is patient and willing to teach me and I am willing to learn. So I am continuing to pray that this opportunity does happen to help supplement some of my income so that Julie and I can continue to pursue what is next for us.

So There you go, there is my life update from the job hunt perspective. I'm sure I will write more later.