Life update...

I had a friend recently point out that it has been a while since I have posted anything on this site. To be honest I have been struggling with what to write and whether or not I was ever going to write anything again.

There have been so many changes over the last 8 months that to try and write about any of it has seemed impossible. I can say though that while this time was never in our original plans for our life it has been a journey that has revealed a lot about who Julie thought we were and about God.

At some point I will share all that God has been working on with me, but I feel I need to process more before I can fully explain what God is doing.

With that said I think it is beneficial to share what is going on and what the next steps are in both mine and Julie's life.

I am still currently working at T-Mobile as a sales associate. It has been interesting being part of the retail world (see previous post about some of my frustration), mostly it has been a good experience. I am learning a lot about how to deal with people in a way that shows compassion and truth. Also, something that I thought I always did a good job of was in how I relate to people and in my ability to teach. However, I have found that my sarcasm and selfishness has kept me from showing compassion towards others. There have been more than one instance of putting foot-in-mouth. I think the biggest frustration right now is that I find myself feeling like I have to defend T-Mobile as a company. I have friends, family, and customers who tell me about their frustrations with T-Mobile and I find that I get defensive. While I don't think T-Mobile is the best company in the world, I do have some sense of loyalty and I can take it personally when someone attacks the company. I try and justify and convince them and probably myself that the company is good. Again I think there is some growth in this area for me especially in not taking it personally. The reality is that I don't care that much about what others think about T-Mobile, but it is hard to not take it personally while working for them.

Julie has been very busy with her many jobs; Compass, Hubbell Communications, NW Church Planting, and several other clients. I am so impressed with how she is able to keep it all straight. I think for Julie the transition has been a chance for her to really grow as a leader and develop her own passions separate from my career. I see God moving in her life it is exciting to see how God is challenging and developing her. The challenge for us has been the fact that it is hard for us to develop a consistent schedule for us. With a job in retail I am having a difficult time in gaining any consistency and while Julie is able to work pretty much Monday-Friday 9 to 5, I am all over the place. Makes it hard to spend time together. We have friends that are in much more stressful arrangement, and I am very thankful for the job I have, never the less it is still difficult.

Another change that is going to be happening is that I will be going back to school starting in January. I am going back to Multnomah University, actually to the Seminary, to get my Masters in Biblical Studies. I am extremely excited about this and thankful that I have the opportunty. I have been asked a few times why go back to school and I think for me a big part of it has just been to get to know God on a deeper level. I know I don't need to go to school to do this but I know that being in school setting will help to challenge and push me through the process. This came out of a desire to grow in my understanding of the Bible and God. A lot of what God has been revealing to me over the last few years and especially the last 8 months has been signifcant and I feel like I want to continue to develop the ideas of this process but want to do it within the context of the God's word and while I feel pretty competent in my understanding of the Bible I think I could grow further. Being in this transitional period gives me the opportunity to really grow in this area.

Finally, a question that has come up has been what is next? What is the plan after school is done, etc...? Well, I don't know. I do know that I feel like God has called me to be in relationship with Him and to continue to help the church in what it means to be a church and how to help others experience a life with Him. I don't know what that looks like, if it means working in a church again or if it means supporting the local church while I continue to do other careers I just know that God is far from done with me.

So there you go, you are pretty much caught up with what is going on in our world. Stay tuned for future updates. I have some ideas about future topics, such as life with housemates, secular career vs full-time ministry, and a few other ideas.

Retail Rant

Ok, this is just an observation so take it for what it is worth. I believe that we have gotten to point of tremendous selfishness in our world. I know it probably isn't a shock to most of you but for me it has been pretty amazing. Over the last 3 months of working retail I have come to the conclusion that we live in a world that is incredible spoiled and self centered.

I love technology and especially cell phones, so it is fitting that I work for T-Mobile (just for the record I'm not in-love with working retail, just love the tech). I remember being a customer of T-Mobile and going into the store to check out the latest and greatest phones. I would find myself wishing that I would have held out for the upgrade because I was now stuck with a piece of junk phone and there before me was a new shinny amazing phone that has caught my eye and I can't live without. I would go to the sales associate and ask them how much it would cost me to get this one of a kind must have new phone, only to hear the dreaded words, "unfortunately you are not eligible for a full upgrade so it is going to be full price"

"Full Price!" I would reply, "I have been a T-Mobile customer for 6 years, I have always paid my bills on time, I am a loyal customer and deserve a discount on this phone." Oh how those words are now haunting my existence.

Every day I hear these words, every day I am faced with a customer who was just like me. I sometimes wonder how much of a sense of humor God has, however after working retail for the last 90 days I wonder no more.

Seriously though, I have been thinking about how we have gotten to the point where we feel entitled, that somehow because we are gracious enough to pay a company money each month to use their services that we now deserve something, in fact we demand it. I have been yelled at, cursed, called all sorts of names, and accused of trying to rip people off. Serious it amazes me, I work so hard to try and look at each person who comes into the store as someone who I can help. I try my very best to treat each person with respect. I know that I am not perfect, some days I just want to get out of there but it doesn't change the fact that I keep dealing with the same people everyday and I have to be honest it sucks.

I go to work every day because I need to put food on our table. To provide enough money for Julie and I to keep our house and hopefully give us an opportunity to spend time together while we figure out where God is going to lead us next. I feel so fortunate to have a job right now, to be somewhere that I like to people that I work with, and working for a company I think is trying to do a good job of caring for customers and employees(yes, they are trying to make money too). However, it has made me realize how much I have been that angry customer, or the entitled customer. How there are times when I feel like I deserve something more and I look at the person who is serving me and do not give them any respect. Why should I right?

Now I want to clarify, I am not supporting all of the company policies when it comes to prices, upgrades, etc... however, I have come to realize that just because we don't like something doesn't give us the right to treat people the way that we do. What is funny to me is the fact that as I have been working in the cell phone world I have come to appreciate the fact that it costs money to do business, that technology has come a long ways (side note: I realized the other day that my current phone has more power, more storage, and can do more things than the computer I had in college, which wasn't that long ago) and while I don't want to have to shell out hundreds of dollars on a phone I feel less like I am getting ripped off and more of, I get what I paid for. Even if I was justified in my thinking, even if I know that I was right and the company was wrong, does it give me a right to demand satisfaction, does it give me the right to get what I deserve, and most importantly does it give me the right to treat the people who work for that company like crap because they work for a dumb company.

I believe that we do have the right to stand up for what we believe especially when there is injustice going on, I just wonder if we know what true injustice is. We believe that if something infringes on our lifestyle or keeps us from getting what we want is injustice. We are willing to make someone feel like they are worthless and pass judgment on others because of our injustice. How different would it be if we stepped back and realized that we have been given more then we ever deserve? How different would it be if instead of waking up each day thinking about what we are going to get we woke up thinking about what we were going to get to be a apart of, that God was going to give us opportunities to care for people, to share in His amazing plan of redemption in the world?

I will keep going to work because I feel like this is where God has placed me right now and I will keep trying to do my best to care for customers and to follow the company polices, but I will have a new understanding for my fellow service people and will continue to look long and hard at what it is I deserve.

More to come on this subject later...